


For Your Own Good

by HumanitysLastMeth



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), 믹스나인 | MIXNINE (TV)
Genre: Emotionally Repressed, F/F, Heavy Angst, I finna ruin yall's week, POV First Person, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-27 02:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumanitysLastMeth/pseuds/HumanitysLastMeth
Summary: Hyunjin sends Heejin to perform 'Come Over'. She knew Heejin would be devastated, but Hyunjin didn't think she'd take it this badly.
Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	For Your Own Good

"I choose..." I began to say. This was going to hurt. I hated doing this, Heejin would be devastated, but I knew she struggled with cute concepts, and she would fare much better with 'Come Over'.

"Jeon Heejin from Blockberry Creative," I finally said. My heart wrenched as I saw the disbelief on Heejin's face. I reached over to the board and pulled off her photocard. 

"Is this a joke?" Heejin said in a pained voice that almost brought me to tears. I walked to her, and held out her card. My hands were shaking. I was on the brink of tears and so was she. I dared not reply to her question, because any attempt to speak would have turned me into a sobbing mess. She looked up at me, and gave me a look comparable to a kicked puppy. She reached out, and took her card. 

_This is for the best,_ I thought to myself. Heejin rose to her feet, and stared at me. 

"T-this is for your own good," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shoved my hand away.

"Is it really?" She asked, and turned to leave. The pit in my stomach was agonizing, and knowing how much I had just hurt her didn't help, but I was looking to the future. If we made it in mixnine, we could debut together. _Be _together. I could spend all the time in the world with Heejin. I loved Heejin, She was the world to me. I wanted something more, but I feared she wouldn't understand. We were both girls... Nobody would understand, not even Heejin. Some day, she would be married off to some man. I didn't want to believe it, I wanted to deny it, but it was inevitable. Loving her from a distance wasn't what I wanted, but whatever made her happy was what I would let happen, no matter how much it hurt. No matter how much it made me hate the world.

* * *

I sucked down another spoonful of mint chocolate ice cream. Comfort food didn't cure depression, but it helped dull the edge of guilt a little. I knew what I did was for the better of us both, but why did I feel like I had made a horrible mistake? I set my ice cream down on the coffee table, paused my show, and stood up, still wrapped in my favorite blanket. I saw my reflection in the wall mirror across the room. I was wearing a too-big white T-shirt and baggy sweatpants, and had a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. My eyeliner was smeared down my cheeks, and my eyes were pink from crying. I looked like the aftermath of a terrible breakup. I felt like I had just had one.

The dorm was surprisingly empty for how late it was. I was the only person there, which was odd, because it was usually chaos this time of night. I walked over to the counter, and picked up my phone. I saw at least five messaged from other girls asking if I knew where Heejin was. Odd... She was missing? I unlocked my phone, and texted the manager, and asked if he knew where Heejin had gone. He quickly responded, notifying me that Heejin had gone missing roughly an hour ago and wasn't responding to anyone's calls. That... that was around the time I had sent her to 'Come Over'. I asked where she was last seen, and the manager said the only reports of her before she vanished were when she left 'Omona'. She must have run off and never showed up to meet up with 'Come Over'. I needed to find her, to make sure she was safe. I knew Heejin well, and I knew she would get hysterical and make bad choices when she was upset. I tossed my blanket back onto the the couch, pocketed my phone, and threw on my jacket. I slipped on some shoes, and opened the front door.

She couldn't have run far, the place wasn't _that _big. She had never run off like this before, so I had not the slightest clue as to where she went. I sent another message to the manager, and asked if anyone else was looking. He said some of the staff were helping search, and so was security. That was good, we needed all the help we could get. I asked if there was anywhere I could look, and he said the kitchens and the women's restrooms. Easy, neither of those were too far from the dorm. I made my way towards the elevator, but stopped as my phone buzzed. There was a message from one of the girls in the group chat. I sighed in relief as I read it.

i_ found heejin shes just fine_

I rapidly typed a response, and the group chat exploded with messages. Everyone wanted to know where they were. No response. Strange... Maybe her phone died? I'd just have to search for where they went. I pressed the call button on the elevator, and stood silently, tapping my foot anxiously. Maybe Heejin had gotten her hands on one of the other's phones, and responded to make it seem like she was okay. Sure, the idea was a little outlandish, but it was a possibility. The elevator door opened. To my surprise, it was empty, which was odd, since this place was pretty busy, even at night. I stepped into the elevator, and selected the ground floor. 

I was suddenly struck with an idea. Me and Heejin had installed the "Find my Friends" app on our phones for when we were traveling. Maybe she still had her phone. I opened the app, and searched for Heejin's phone. It came up on the map as still in the building. It was unmoving in some place close to where I was. I didn't really know the topography of this place, so I'd just have to follow the directions. The elevator doors opened to a dead, empty hallway. Expected, since everyone was searching. I started towards the blue dot indicating her location, and as I got closer, I saw that the mark must have been in the kitchen.

I shoved the door open, and to my dismay, saw it was completely empty. I looked around for a minute, and spotted her phone on the counter, next to another phone. I was right, she _had_ snatched another phone. I approached the counter, and was suddenly overwhelmed with a strong metallic stench. I choked on the awful smell, and looked around for what could have been producing such a noxious odor. Nothing. Although, the floor cabinet underneath the counter her phone was on was slightly open. As I reached down to open the cabinet, I noticed a small detail that made my heart sink. A knife missing from the knife rack.

It could have been a coincidence, but given the situation, now was not the time to be skeptical. I knew Heejin, and she had never been in any way suicidal or depressed, but the human mind was unpredictable, and this made the situation much more dire. She could be hurting herself. I _needed _to find her, to make sure she was safe. I quickly grabbed her phone and the one next to it, and made my way towards the women's restroom.

* * *

I rounded the corner into one of the back hallways, where the women's restroom was. I was starting to get a little nervous, I hadn't seen a single person, and it had probably been around an hour and a half since I started looking. The women's restroom was just ahead. I prayed that she would be in there, completely unharmed, but things just weren't adding up. As I approached, I received another text from the manager, not in the group chat, but directly from him. 

_where are you?_

Odd. I hadn't heard from anyone in quite a while, and he was asking where _I _ was? This didn't feel right.

_i__n the hall outside the women's restroom_

_ why?_

No response. I stood there for a minute, staring at my phone. After realizing that he wasn't going to be responding any time soon, I continued towards the bathroom. I reached to open the door handle, but almost immediately noticed the liquid on the handle. It was thick and red. I looked down at the floor, and saw what looked like hastily mopped up bloodstains. This was serious. Heejin must have cut herself.

I slowly pushed the bathroom door open, and sighed in relief as I saw Heejin. She was crouching in the back of the bathroom, shoving something into one of the stalls. And then I saw the floor. And her arms. Her forearms were dripping with blood, and there was a horrifyingly large puddle of blood on the floor. Heejin had a bloodied knife resting in her left hand.

"Heejin!" I shouted. Heejin almost fell to the floor. She quickly stood from her crouching position. Her shirt was stained crimson. A smile spread across her face as she locked eyes with me. Not the kind, cheerful smile I knew. Had I broken her? I knew she was stressed, but I didn't know she was on the brink of becoming suicidal.

"Heejin, put down the knife. Don't hurt yourself any more," I said, slowly walking closer. Her knuckles turned white as she tightly gripped the blade. 

"Please. I need you here," I told her. I was terrified. Heejin was quivering. And that smile... I couldn't tell if it was pure despair hiding behind a faked grin, or... 

I stopped. I saw something sticking out of the bathroom stall. I stepped to the side a little, and saw what it was. There was a person laying in there. As I stepped further, the rest of them coming into view, I saw what it actually was. A body. A bloody, mangled body. With such deep wounds, it was completely unrecognizable. My stomach lurched, and I barely suppressed the urge to vomit.

"W-what the hell Heejin?" I stammered. Heejin stepped towards me.

"It's... it's not what it looks like, Hyunjin... I-" Heejin said. I stepped back.

"Y-you killed them. You _killed _someone," I said in disbelief. The look in her eyes was wrong. I couldn't see the Heejin I knew behind them. There was something else, something insane and broken. Had I done this to her? Was this my fault? I understood Heejin's expression now. It wasn't sadness, it was primal bloodlust. I turned on my heel, and sprinted away. I heard Heejin chasing me.

"Wait, Hyunjin!" I heard her call out behind me. I wasn't turning back. I was going to get the police. I burst out into the hallway, and turned for the exit. I was so close to escaping. The door was right there. I shoved the door, and almost fell to the ground as the door failed to open. I stood up, and pushed the door again. It was locked.

I turned around, and saw Heejin was only about three meters away from me. She was at a complete stop. She was going to kill me. The girl I loved was going to end my life. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Don't cry, Hyunjin," Heejin said. How could I not? Heejin had just _murdered someone_. The woman I thought I knew had just committed the worst crime known to man.

"Heejin, you don't have to do this," I said between sobs.

"H-Heejin, I love you. Please, don't hurt me. We can make this right," I said. That was a lie. Heejin had done something unspeakable. There was no righting taking someone's life. Heejin looked stunned. The knife in her hand clattered to the floor. Heejin ran to me, and hugged me tightly.

"I love you too Hyunjin," Heejin said. I was probably more shocked than she was. I never though such a simple statement could change someone like that. Or maybe she didn't want to hurt me in the first place. Her arms were bloody, and the smell wasn't great, but this was probably the last time I would ever get to hug her.

"Heejin, why would you kill someone?" I asked her though my tears. She pulled out of the hug.

"Because you helped me realize something," She said, her eye twitching slightly. "Killing people feels _amazing_," 

My chest tightened at this statement. I was beginning to think she didn't mean what she said before. She placed a hand on my shoulder. Her grin began to resurface.

"I lied," She said. My heart sunk. She leaned closer, and her grip on my shoulder tightened.

"I'm going to kill you with my bare hands," She whispered.


End file.
